Journal spurts

Planned a special day with her 5 year old little princess. Sick diabetics need blood glucose test every 2 hours. Assumed she'd play silently next to mommy while mommy worked. Instead, day filled with farts and burps, followed by repeated trips to the bathroom with demands of having her butt wiped. Now listening to her loud chewing. Now she's bored. Now she wants another snack. Now she wants Sponge Bob. Specialness sucks. 


3/9/2011

Shelby, 2 year old, just tried to give me her booger by placing it in my hand. But the stubborn booger kept sticking to her little finger. Solution? Told her to give it to daddy.

March 5, 2011 at 2:15pm

Took Shelby, 2 year old to her dance lesson. Her tantrums wracked the walls. Took snack offered by kind parent with grave suspicion and unfriendly glare. After eating, farted loudly and fumigated the waiting area for parents and siblings, forcing me to give forth a general disclaimer, making me look all the guiltier as the source of the flatulence. No clever ending here folks. She just makes me want to die.

February 16, 2011 at 9:31pm

Would like her older two, Spencer and Sydney to know, that if they keep telling her that she's bigger than bathtub and wine barrels, Shelby will be an only child. 


February 13, 2011

Was telling hubby how her coffee kept getting cold this morning and she'd pop it in the microwave and then she'd put it down again and then it'd get cold when she realized how utterly boring she is and was glad that she's married so someone is legally obligated to pretend to listen to her.

February 12, 2011 at 2:23pm

Doesn't mind the barfing that goes along with stomach bug as long as it's rewarded with massive weight loss.

February 10, 2011

7 yr old had a hard day. A soccer game. 2 basketball games. A hard knock to the nose from another kid's head during basketball game no. 2. To be shuttled immediately to piano lesson only to be trapped in the women's restroom right before lesson. Found him crying and pounding away at the ladies' room door only to be pushed right into the piano studio. Hard hard day for the little guy.

February 5, 2011 at 5:17pm

Wasn't offended when her 2 yr old mistook another Asian woman for her at dance class but was deeply offended when she realized the tot chose the homely one and not the hot one. Someone didn't get their dinner that night.

February 3 at 4:28pm